I'm left standing there hurt and confused. I wanted to throw him the "Back-in-my-Day" speech. BACK IN MY DAY, I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A GAME CONSOLE. BACK IN MY DAY WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A LAPTOP. BACK IN MY DAY...
I was so hurt. This level of ungratefulness was stabbing. I have an apathetic 14 year old brother, I thought. It's not my parent's fault that the age difference between my brother and I is so big, but sometimes I ask, why, Lord? So the Lord reminds me that the most important times of my childhood I get to spend alone with my parents and when I got lonely, I remember me, the 7 year-old Kay, praying for a little brother or sister. The prayer is still so clear in my mind, the Lord never let me forget it.
"God please give me a brother or sister--doesn't matter which one, I don't care...I just want someone to play with."Cute, eh? He never let me forget it so that I will never be ungrateful for this blessing for a little brother. Sometimes I may be mad at him, and I remember going through an age where I was mad at my family members. I remember saying hurtful things to him (and to make it worse, at that time he was even younger than now), saying that I didn't want a brother anymore. Ouch, right? But the Lord puts this prayer in my memory so that I could remember why Anson is in my life. If I could go back in time and take back all that I said, I would. But I can't change the feelings he has for me right now. It's probably full of despise and loathe.
There was a part of a sharing on Sunday that stuck in my mind. I'm having an epiphany right now. It went something like, "take your blessings the Lord gives you and use it". So I am reminded, have I counted my blessings? Sure my brother may be an ungrateful generation Y and I am an aging generation X--but he is a blessing to me. I cannot undo the things I have said, but I can change now to be a better role model for my brother. Hopefully he sees me as not just a public enemy, but as a human being with real memories of the past, with real emotions and feelings. That's how I saw my parents after my many years of accusations against them. And when I saw them in that light, I was more appreciative of them. Like one of my professors said, "you can never know a biography of a person without knowing the history of their ancestors."
So that also reminds me of Nehemiah. "Remember me, Oh my God." I find this theme coming up a lot in my week. May we continue to count our blessings, recognize them, and use them to glorify God.
3 Responses:
=) aww.. that prayer is so cutee! lol
and yes, I'm glad even though your brother sounded so ungrateful for receiving an XBOX!!! (back in my days... lol even more ancient then yours... ;P), you still see the blessing side of it.
i know our brothers can be frustrating sometimes hah... mine too -.-" i wish i had an older sibling instead hhahh...
anyways... your post also reminded me to count my blessings, which i have forgotten to at the beginning of this year (thank goodness, it's still the beginning, time to start it up again).
i remember asking a lot from the Lord, and sometimes, that infamous phrase.. "be careful what you ask for..." comes to mind hahha... but in the end, the Lord makes use of what i ask as a blessing heheh :)
gotta treasure 'em all!
(PS... SKIING THIS SATURDAYY ^^ i'm excitedd! hoping not to get hurt hehhehhe)
<3
jennt
@ Kay: Your devotion is so inspiring. Sometimes when we pray for something you wonder whether you're taking it deeply or lightheartedly. It's so precious that even such a simple prayer He has already blessed you.
@ Jennt: Speaking of the quote, there is nothing we can ask for the Lord that we should be 'careful for', because the Lord knows what we need long before time began! If it's not His will then you will be sure not to receive it because it won't benefit you. The most important thing is that every prayer you are drawing close to God and that will always make Him happy.
totally agree with you karen!! never thought of it that way :) thanks!
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