Yesterday I attended a distant relative's wedding luncheon with my family (it was my dad's cousin from my grandma's sister's family). My grandma's sister's family, if you recall, are Catholics. However, my uncle, who was getting married, is a Christian. His decision to convert to Christianity was difficult to everyone (as Catholics and Protestants did not have a very nice history in the past). This marriage of his was not fully accepted by his own family members, not because he chose to have a Christian ceremony, but because this was also his second marriage (after his first one failed). Besides the awkward giant elephant in the room during the wedding luncheon, I got to meet the newest member of the family, my baby second-cousin. I also caught up with some of my other second-cousins who were much smaller the last time I saw them, but has started to grow up. My grandma's side of the family are young and has mostly children.
During this time I realized that this family was growing by numbers and that God's presence was in it--and at the same time, Satan was using his full strength to also tear this family apart. Back at home after the wedding, I began to think about my own immediate family, my grandparents on my mom's side who has not been saved yet, my aunts and uncles, and my youngest cousin... I suddenly felt this surge of energy through my veins, something inside me screamed, "GO BRING THEM BACK TO CHRIST!" I felt myself talking back through this energy doubting, "Who--me?!" This energy replied, "YES YOU!" I replied hesitantly, "who am I?"
I felt myself being instantly reminded of Moses when he encountered God's voice talking to him through this burning bush--I'm not saying this "energy" I felt was God's voice.. I'm not sure what it was. Perhaps it was the Holy Spirit stirring my soul to an epiphany to realize how much my family needs God. So here I was, in the bathroom, debating with this energy. "Look," I continued, "I already tore my family apart in the past, look at all the mess I've made. How am I supposed to put it all back together and fix this?" Patiently and reassuringly this energy told me, "With God, all things are possible." With that, I felt this energy fade away to the back of my mind echoing those last words. With God, all things are possible. This family needs God, this family needs revival!
This story sounded all too familiar; in Exodus 3:11-12 as Moses questioned his credibility, "who am I...?" and God responded to him, "I will certainly be with you..." Moses must have been so scared and doubtful of himself. Bringing the children of Israel out of Egypt into freedom is ambitious--and daunting. I also felt nervous about myself, doubting my spiritual strength. I don't know how to do this. I must pray more earnestly for my family than ever before. But with my past mistakes, how can they possibly see me as a Christian? How would they ever take me seriously? How can I possibly glorify God when my past failed judgements and mistakes clouded their impression of me? This is going to be difficult, I thought to myself. Then again, it's never that easy. But just like Moses, I was reminded that with God all things are possible and that "[He] will certainly be with you".
It's Mother's Day today, and while this post started off being about famous mothers in the Bible, it took a turn towards my own struggle with myself; my struggle to fix what I did wrong, and to glorify God with a stain on my reputation as a Christian in my family. Alas, we are just human and mistakes are all made; we are all growing up in Christ so sometimes mistakes are made--but we must learn from them instead of dwelling on them, this is how we grow even more.
I know most of you sisters still have mothers (and family alike) whom we want to be saved. Sometimes language barriers make it difficult for us to preach the gospel, or cultural differences make it harder for them to be open-minded to Christianity because they are so firm with their current beliefs. Or perhaps, our past mistakes are making it harder for us to glorify God in our families because our family has clouded their thinking still dwelling on our mistakes. But whatever the difficulty we must break through these barriers! We must work harder, and pray harder than ever before. The Lord is coming soon! Let us not forget that, and feel the urgency in this.
May we glorify God in this generation. May God greatly use us in our own households to bring our family members back to Christ and be saved. Whatever difficulties caused by Satan or personal problems, may we remember that God is always with us; with Him, all things are possible! We must have faith and be strong in our spirits. May God be the head of our household, may His presence be greatly with our families. May the Holy Spirit be poured down upon our family members and have them open their spiritual eyes to see Christ living through us--and past whatever barrier that is preventing them from seeing that.
It seems fitting for today being Mother's Day, that we should pray for our Mothers tonight. Whether you have a good relationship, bad relationship, or none at all--may we pray for their soul. I hope we can work harder towards this and bring our families to Christ, or bring them closer to Christ. Tonight I have started praying for my family members again. I was reminded of a post I made earlier on this blog about trying to bring my family closer to God again--I think it is time I revived that goal of mine.
Most importantly, I have to pray for myself. It's been a difficult year for me as I tried cleaning up my past woes. I've been battling with myself, my wants, desires and ignored what I needed. I feel as if I am spiritually unfit and easy to Satan's attacks, accusations and temptations. Recently I have been disciplining myself physically and spiritually but I doubt my own spiritual strength. So this energy echoes deep within my heart, "With God, all things are possible."
