When Life feels empty

Sometimes you wonder why life is so unfair. You look all around you and you see people enjoying life with their friends, family, and loved ones and you're walking all alone to school/work. You see pictures on billboards with people living what seems to be a life of wealth, pleasures, and other superficial things, without being aware that the person walking in front of you is still struggling with drug addiction and family problems. 

There are times when you're bored with nothing to do. Your path ahead appears to be a field. You think about other things to do, like drawing and running, and you wonder if it's worth it. You don't really have much of a choice except for DNTG-ing, or take the wasteful path of browsing things on the internet and checking Facebook every hour. Sometimes you even wonder why your non-believer classmates and friends have a lot of blessings in their packed lives and you don't have much. You get jealous when one of your friends talk and post nothing except for how much they're in love with their significant other or house or whatever. You ask God "How come my life is so boring compared to (inserts name of person)?"

There are times when it's the Lord's will that you have an unsatisfying life so you can fly back to Him. He wants your full attention toward Him because He loves you so much. The Lord wants to hold authority over you so you can have a best life He desires you to have. If we search for a life that doesn't match God's plan, thinking only about ourselves, then we would find ourselves empty, no matter how many things we have.

"For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away." James 4:14

Recalling yesterday's group meeting we were talking about how we care so much about worldly matter we forget about the Best. We should be blessed that no matter how busy or bored we are we should treasure every moment with the Lord, because you never know what happens tomorrow according to His plan. The same goes for non-believers who seem satisfied with their lives. One day they could lose everything, like Job. They need God just as much as we do because only He can mould our lives perfectly.

If you feel that your life needs a little kick, you can pray to God for yourself "Lord, I know that You cause all things to work for Your good. Let me know what You want me to do with my life."

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Valentine's Day in the eyes of the Lord

Yes, it's that time of year where lalala... love is in the air. A day to celebrate with loved ones, and for some, a day to cringe about how unfair life is.

Actually, the truth behind Valentine's day is quite heartbreaking. It is dedicated to a saint who was martyred for bringing Christians to marry. It reminds us about the Christians who have been persecuted for glory the Lord, just like how He was persecuted that we may glorify Him. It's so precious that today we could celebrate because the Lord is with us, from now until eternity.

So yesterday I bought three roses (before I realized the school's selling roses at a better deal) and put them in my living room. Then I remembered and thought about the Lord's love for me. I imagined what it would be like to have a Valentine's Day conversation with Him.
I say. "Beloved, these roses are truly beautiful."
He says "Darling, not only have I given to you, but I created them to remind you of how beautiful and precious you are in My heart, and that nothing should take away your beauty."

It's so amazing that God speaks to us by the things He created on Earth. How precious that the rose is so wonderfully made. Its thorns help protect the rose from being touched and damaged by animals.

And a quote from Songs of Solomon to keep the love flowing.

Shulamite: I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys.
Beloved: Like a lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters.
- Songs of Solomon 2:1-2

So if you're that kind of person who gets jealous on that day, think about how much the Lord desires you. Jealousy will only make your heart harden and you'll be missing out on so much love He intended to offer. So, enjoy the rest of your day, or rather, eternity, in the love of the Beloved.

-Karen

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The Power of Giving (Part 2)

Continuing from Part one of The Power of Giving Series.

In the last part, I mentioned about Christmas being a holiday of giving, rather than receiving. It's also a day that we remembered the true purpose of Christmas: Abba's gift of the Lord Jesus to us. Today, people enjoy Christmas because they have a time to give presents to loved ones (not necessarily romantically, but all kinds).

Unfortunately, a lot of us are struggling Scrooges, even as Christians. I happen to be one of them. Not being about to freely show love to others is one of my weaknesses, partly due to my difficulties establishing close friendships and my own selfishness and cynicism. I remember during one year in high school I would complain that everyone gets presents except for me, and because of that I feel sad and uncared for. It gets depressing in Christmas because everyone else around me was able to show each other love, and I would end up like this.

That's pretty sad, eh? But it's so precious that the Lord, who loves us all with His highest, unconditional love, gave Himself as the most precious gift to us. As members of Christ we have already received so much, unfortunately because of our unsatisfied nature of our flesh we don't realize that what we'ved gained by Him is outpouring. Also, even the small gifts we give to Him, whether it is a short prayer, or a song, or a non-believer, makes Him truly happy.

I bring in another example of a comic a sister in Scarborough shared years ago. She mentioned about a rich dog and his cat best friend. One Christmas the cat couldn't decide on a gift because his dog friend has everything, so for that day, he planned on giving him Nothing. Later, when the dog received the gift with an empty box, he asked the cat "How come you didn't give me anything for Christmas?" (not sure if this was part of the comic) The cat answered "Actually, I gave you Nothing!" At the end they both have a happy time.

I was touched by the story, and also gave me a little laugh. As one of the sisters pointed out in the comments, the reason why we worry about what to give is because we don't know if it will satisfy the people you give the present to. Sometimes material things we receive don't always satisfied us, but the most important thing is that the thought matters. We give because we have a heart of love, and that will always make the person satisfied.

I hope that in this Christmas I can retrieve my soft heart of God to change my ways and be a more giving person. I don't mind receiving Nothing this year, but whatever I gained, I should be satisfied. I also shouldn't be worried about what to give either, because there are more ways to give than to physically give them a present that they might not like.

And for all you Scrooges out there (you might be one of them!) Remember to soften your heart and pour our your love for the holidays, and the rest of your life, and until eternity! If you need help pray to the Lord that He will be sure to help. That is also a gift to Him too and He will gladly give back!

So that concludes the Power of Giving Series. Wish you all a happy, loving holiday!
-Karen

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The Power of Giving (Part 1)

Hello, sisters! How are you all doing?

It's that time of the year. Christmas, holiday break. I'm sure that a lot of you have already bought presents for your friends and loved ones. (except me -_-, because I'm still not sure what to buy and give yet) If you've given away your presents, that's good. If you don't, that's okay. Have you received anything yet? Did you receive anything that you didn't like? Are you upset or mad that you did?

Unfortunately in this world many people suffer from holiday blues because of false concepts like how Christmas is based on materialism, money, glitter, and self gain. People want to receive rather than give, and that's truly what makes them unhappy and unsatisfied.

I watched a movie on Charles Dicken's A Christmas Carol and that movie has taught me important lessons. If you don't know the story already it's about an unsociable miser named Scrooge, who, after an encounter with three Christmas Spirits. Each one reveals to him about the past, the present, and the undesirable future if he remains a selfish, heartless cynic. Because of the foreseen consequences of his old ways of wanting to be rich and well educated rather than loving others, Scrooge changed and became a giving person.

This movie has reminded me that giving is important and it makes you a better person. If all we want is to get things for OUR own benefit and not for others, then we will eventually become like Scrooge and be unsatisfied, and unlovable. If we only desire our own needs of this flesh, then we would go nowhere. Also the Lord also encourages us to give and have a good heart, and that's what He wants from us. We need to be reminded that we are most like Him and that He has a heart of giving, and so can you.


Actually, the truth is that Christmas is supposed to be a happy holiday about giving with a generous heart. And why? That's because God chose this day 2000 years ago to gave us His Beloved Son to this earth, and he is so joyful that He did. It is truly Abba's greatest gift to us that we may have a living way back to Him. And this holiday we find this purpose to give back to the Lord by our Gospel Party. Whether or not you're inviting anyone, be joyful that whoever you can bring, they can truly be the most special gift to the Lord for His 'birthday'.

" I have shown you in every way, by laboring like this, that you must support the weak. And remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive." Acts 20:35


If we have a heart of love and giving, it truly makes God happy and He will bless you.





So, what if you're that kind of person who wants to change his/her Scroogely ways? Stay tuned for Part 2!

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A rant about my work environment

There is one thing in my studio life that is bugging me a lot lately. Yes, I have a lot of projects that involve a lot of teamwork and model building. But what's really bothering me is the teammates I'm working with.
I don't want to put them down or anything, but the things they say really hurt my feelings. As someone who wishes her social skills were a lot better, they would treat me like an alien (no, not that kind, but alien as if someone unfamiliar to them.) Sure, I've been treated like that very often wherever I go or whoever I'm with, but there's one other thing that I'm not happy about.
Lately I've been noticing that a lot of people I'm surrounding with in studio would utter "Jesus Christ!" in frustration. Not only does it annoy me, but it breaks my heart. The Lord Jesus is my true beloved, and so is yours. How would you feel if a person says your lover's name in a hateful way? Not very nice, right? Not only does it break your hear but it also breaks the Lord's heart. I feel that people are becoming more harsh with everything. But it's so precious that because of the Lord we try to stay out of this heartless world. (yes, sorry if I'm being all cynical here)
I really hoped that by the end of the semester I would be around nice people that won't say things that hurt my Beloved.

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Letting Go

Hello! This is Karen. It's my first post on this blog.

If you know me, I study Architecture at Ryerson. Currently I'm on my fourth, and final year. It is a very intense program. Practically everyone pulls an all nighter at least a few times per semester.

Recently my emotions have gone downhill, even to the point that it becomes in the way of school. I have broken down in tears during class at least twice this semester. Being a person with AS, I struggled to fit in since school, and I would feel very lonely because of the lack of close friendships I have in my life.

But this past week, approaching end-of-semester deadline where the workload is the most intense, I was so down that I couldn't focus on school and turned to the Lord and His truth. It was though I was going through a Paul episode where he was blinded by the Lord's light, not noticing the matters around him. Then I thought to myself: What should I do and treasure in my earthly life before His Second Coming? Will I be spiritually prepared? Will everything I do be meaningless in the future? How will the Lord reveal His heart to me in my life journey on this earth?

I feel so blessed that the Lord has spoken so much to me this week, and that I was able to draw closer to Him more than I could. Although my schedule is pretty packed for the upcoming weeks, I was still able to attend today's meeting and meet loving B/S, because I know that they are God's prepared family. And I do regret that I did not spent enough time with B/S because of my overindependence and social anxieties. And this week the Lord has told me to let go, from the stress and matters of this world, and seek Him.

I know that it gets stressful when you don't have much time to complete deadlines, if you trust the Lord and enjoy His delight, he will help you overcome difficulties in life.

Psalm 37:4- Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.

-Karen

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