and February is blue...
If I keep working like this,
I might as well turn blue too.
(And be an Avatar!)
Anyways.. Happy Valentine Weekend, my dearest sisters. I miss you all! Although, I never understood the reason why Valentine's Day is marked on our North American calendars, I actually think it's about time something lame and cheesy happened this week. Yes, yes, this so-called holiday is worth a rather good commercial value; shirts, ties, watches, and jeweleries are bought at insanely increasing numbers this weekend--but what I think really, is that this "holiday" is a perfect excuse for us to get out of our February Blues rut.
February as we know it, carries a disease otherwise known as the 'Blues'--scientifically speaking, mainly due to the lack of Vitamin D during the winter season... it makes us all a little moody and perhaps, depressed. I would know, my uncle "suffers" from this. Well actually..I'm beginning to think he suffers from the blues like 365 days in a year--anyways...
Last week during our LYN luncheon at U of T, Cally noticed that while walking on campus--and she did a lovely job of comparing U of T's campus with York btw--that students carry this very solemn look on their face. With no surprise, of course, I could obviously think of a few reasons why this is besides the fact that it's the midterms, Winter, St. George's campus was the only one not closed for "snowmageddon" and clearly--that's the I'm-a-student-with-no-social-life face. I did a quick reflection of what she commented on and realized: why yes, I am becoming rather depressed and stressed out, and would soon enough anticipate my face to also look like that of my other fellow classmates. That is what I feared.
Then all the Valentine's commercials and music started flooding in and I realized what time of the year it was. Chocolates are on sale!! This, along with Easter and Christmas, is my favourite time of the year. Pints of ice cream and chocolates go on sale and I get to bum around with my single friends eating out of the carton with a spoon, watching back-to-back episodes of Glee...
So anyways, as I was saying...
There has been a crazy amount of workload going on for me and I was starting to really feel the stress. Seeing Cally's smile and joking-around self during that school week reminded me that amongst all these people at U of T--I actually do have brothers and sisters on campus and I'm not alone in the struggle to stay sane. Another precious sister reminded me that God is always here with me and I just have to rely on Him and put all my faith in Him--He knows what He's doing and won't give me something I can't handle.
I've always lived in some sort of doubt that I can't do what people are expecting me to do; that I can't handle the situation or accomplish any big goals. I've shied away from burdens and backed off from offers to achieve more than I could ever imagine. Who am I? What is it that I want to do with the rest of my studies here at U of T? Will I even continue here, or would I transfer to somewhere else? However, I really have to give thanks that God never gave up in trying to guide me and make me stronger than who I think I am. I've said 'no' soooo many times when opportunities came up for me to grow spiritually and mentally because I was simply scared I wouldn't be able to do it. There should be no reason for me to be scared anyways.
I'm taking a cinemas studies course, and this week we were analyzing main characters in some action-horror films. The professor said, "there is a sensational bond between the audience and seeing the main character on screen compared to seeing other characters with a weaker personality. The stronger main character makes the audience feel safe even though they know it's only a movie--but they forget it's a movie and becomes drawn into the scene." Totally agreeing with her, I noticed that when I watch action-horror films (I watch a lot of movies), there is always a sense of 'okay-ness' I get when a certain character comes up on screen.
This sort of 'okay-ness' should be the same for me in my studies as well. You never know what's going to happen; some sort of suspense is hanging in the air, you're on the edge of the seat, you're subconsciously clutching a part of your clothes, but the tough main character shows up with some sort of gun and suddenly you know it's going to be okay cuz.. well this character will save the day for sure. I should have this kind of safe feeling when I think about school or what to do in the future because I know for sure that with God, the main tough-guy character, will keep me safe. I'm the wimpy one, by the way, who drags the whole team down and makes progression of the story line fall behind and the audience is just whispering to themselves "just die already!" But I won't! I can do this, because He will give me the strength and a laser beam sort of gun thing to beat school!
A lot of weird analogies today, I apologize for the awkwardness... I forget why I'm writing this blog.. but I'm just really glad that chocolates are on sale this weekend. omnomnom nomnom....
xoxo
-me.
2 Responses:
thanks for this humorous, yet touching post! ^^
it gave me something to think about.. with God being there to guide us and all (:
keep posting, and strive for him! <3
Thanks Jessie,
A small update: I forgot to thank everyone who prayed for me last term, I got into two of three courses that I wanted to get into. Unfortunately I didn't get into Physical Geography--but fortunately that I didn't! I attended the lectures for three weeks and realized Geography wasn't my cup of tea. So God really knows what I can handle and what I can't. He knows me so well! As for my other two courses, I love it! Cinema Studies and Effective Writing--best. Term. Ever. Give thanks!
xoxo.
-me.
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