Anyways...
A few hours ago I was hit with an epiphany--I don't belong in Fine Arts! I need to get my bum straight over to where all the Architecture students are, where all the blueprint parties and landscaping fun happens! (insert makes-me-sound-like-a-nerd-voice) So a few hours after that I went researching into ways I can switch from Fine Arts into Architecture over the course of a few months. Realizing there is a need to have high school calculus for the program, I slumped into my chair and my heart died a little... high school calculus was non existent in my transcript. Starring blankly at the screen, a thought kept running through my mind, what could I do? If this is really what I want to save me from denial that Fine Arts was a 'fun' program for me, then I'll do anything to get there! So, next week I'll be trying to take a TDSB summer school course for Calculus with my rusty math... yes... (please pray for me!)
The original plan--like most people my age, was to finish their undergrad by at least 22, possibly pursue a masters degree.. and if it felt like ambition, a Ph. D--maybe get a high paying career, travel the world... get a pet dog...
My original plan was foiled (at least the 'finishing by 22' part... I'm still getting that dog!) it seems I'll still be in first year at the age of 21 and finally finish undergrad by 25. This thought was a bit depressing. Or at least, society makes it seem that way. I'm taking a Cinema's Studies course (I was planning for it to be one of my Minors, but now that thought is changing), thus it leads to my constant movie watching. The Social Network is a good example of Westernized views that the 'young and successful' will one day rule the world, and being young and successful is the way of life we should go at. It is the basic 'Pursuit of Happiness'.
At first I was saddened that this ideal image of being young and successful won't be happening for me and that I failed everything my parents had expected of me (especially my grandparents, if they would stop talking about how 'successful and awesome' their grandchildren are, maybe I'll cut my future a little slack).
But this is Worldly thinking.
In the book of Ecclesiastes, there is a lot of "in vain" talk going on. A brief side-history note, when King Solomon wrote this book, he was at an old age and experienced quite a huge mid-more-like-near-the-end life crisis. He lost his faith and slipped into the ways of the world, worshipped the idols, and all sorts of finger-wagging, head-shaking things... fortunately though ("spoiler" alert), at the end he gained his faith back and left everything to God--just like old times and everyone was good buddies again :D
Solomon had in his lifetime pursued many things. If we could look back into time, we could see that he was a farmer--no he was an agriculturalist, a botanist, a zoologist... he actually classified animals, reptiles, plants, and what-not; he was into politics, philosophy...etc. He gave lectures in the country's universities at that time. He had his own vineyards, built the finest palaces out of expensive hard-to-get wood... he was a master architect. Solomon owned a lot of farmland and properties to feed his servants and their families and also his own family--from which we know, consisted of a lot of wives, concubines and children. He, if Bill Gates existed back then, would be the envy of all the nation (not to mention, he was the king!).
Solomon sought a few major things such as enjoyment, pleasures, wisdom, and knowledge. In Ecclesiastes chapters 8-9, he declares that after all these things he sought for, it's all useless and will eventually disappear at death. Throughout these chapters however, note how 'emo' he is, "all is lost, everything is useless..."; Solomon could not find happiness.
The human life span is so short, that it can actually be split into a few parts and stages of numbers less than two digits. The most generic: childhood, teenager, young adult, adult, middle life, old life, and then death. Already I'm in part three of this story and I'm not eager to find out what goes on in the next few parts--life seems so short.
Jesus knew life as more than short, despite that He died (as a human) at the age of 33--which in this society is just the beginning of a real life! His disciples, only fishermen, weren't an ambitious bunch compared to his anti-disciples the Pharisees etc--yet He left everyone with an amazing sense of fulfillment for their future and their lives.
Finishing your undergrad is not some sort of race to see how fast you can finish and how big you make it into the world. I'm not saying education isn't important and 'all in vain', but if it's relevant to what you can achieve for God... then of course it's important! But why am I really stressing? Is it because I'm worried that I won't be able to pursue my dream? What is even my dream? I'll leave it all to God to decide and He'll guide me, but during this walk I hope to grow spiritually and learn to listen out for His signs.
And if you're at that part of life where you're deciding your future paths into university or college, or you may be finished university/college and/or not working and not sure where to go--just go straight (and then make a left turn at the lights and drop me off at the intersection please, thanks). There's more to it than just knowing your life is in His hands, He's given us so much purpose and a glorious commission for our lives it makes living not seem short, but rather enjoyable and yes; that pursuit of happiness? Check.
with love,
-me
2 Responses:
:) good to hear how you're doing and what you're thinking about. haven't seen you in a while... :P
i like the way you write lol, keep bloggin' and keeping me updated!
fianlly, I know how to put on my comments, yes!
Kay, you should be a writer, seriously :)
it doesn't matter when we will finish our study. It does matter when we were old, we feel regret for sth. The process of life doesn't equal the result of life. How to enjoy the process, everyday, how to enjoy being yourself, how to enjoy the life that you have now all these are more important.
You are unique in His sight.
Love you,
Cally
Post a Comment