hey sup,
it's been a long time :)
I will make this brief... just wanted to share a bit about the hillsong concert.
This was the second time i went to one, and i find that it's a bit different from the first time. I did feel God's presence there, and was amazed at the amount of bro/sis who came from other churches to worship God through music.
I did really enjoyed it. However, something was different this time... Yes, I felt really close to God and was really touched through the lyrics, but this time... I want the way I was there that night to be how I live every day.
It was so free... we were so excited, jumping around, singing the words to the Lord with our hearts... we were so into it, i don't want it to just be a moment. I want this moment to last for the rest of my life.
We sang about living for the Lord, giving up all that hinders us from coming before Him... we sang about our freedom in Him... we sang about offering our lives for Him, glorify Him in our life, shine Him to all those around us... it all felt so good and real in that moment with the music and atmosphere... but this time I thought, how long will this "feeling" last?
This time... i want it to last as long as i could.. to be able to live a life that's really free before the Lord. Live out what I sang to the Lord that night.
The lyrics in one of my favourite song - "From the inside out"
that really caught my attention and what I want to be able to do says:
Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
in bringing You praise...
regardless of how i may "feel" in any situation or moment... i want His will to be above all else in my mind and in my heart... i want to be able to lose myself in giving Him praise. I kept repeating those lines in my head... as a self reminder
i did it before bread breaking meeting today... and a bit during hahah..
it helped me, yes... i work in weird ways ._.
also, this leads me to share about my situation...
it's nothing big really... i try not to make it big because i want to trust in the Lord and whatever His plan may be for the tumour in my head
i'm sure i can slowly accept it as being there, i'm not mad at Him for putting it there either... i know there has to be a reason.
once again... those lyrics are sorta like my personal prayers to the Lord..
"Your will above all else
My purpose remains"
no matter what His will is and will be above all else, no matter what, my purpose still remains.
To bring Him praise. In whatever situation :)
so yeah, u guys dont have to worry too much about me -- i'll figure it out somehow... with the Lord.
aside from all this... the only complaint i have or frustration sometimes.. is.. my vision. here goes some rant -- u guys can end here LOL
i'm pretty annoyed with my vision, i feel cross eyed sometimes, with the double vision, it sucks. i miss the times when i could focus much easier... makes playing sports and hand eye coordination much easier...
i'm also sometimes self conscious about my right eye, hence one reason for the glasses... aside from making my vision clearer -- also for covering a bit haha, not sure how well it works, but yea... whatever.
sometimes i wish i could just get an eye patch. which would make my vision easier, not having to see from my right eye...but at the same time...
this reminds me... hahah i rmb there was a time when we sisters were playing a get to know each other game, where we answer questions by writing down our answers on a paper and then read it all out and guess who's answers are which..
i rmb the question: if you had to lose one of the five senses, what would it be...
i said - vision.
you know why? cause i know vision can cause us to sin easily... but at the same time, it can let us adore God's creation and it is often needed for sooo many things, like work, etc, everything basically LOL, so i'm torn with that, nonetheless, i feel i will need the other senses... hearing is important to me for obvious reasons -- musiccc hahah
plus i think i can live ... ok.. i think, without seeing, but not being able to hear anything would be scary-er.
i'm weird.. LOL
so if in the end, i have vision with one eye... i might be ok with it... who knows LOL man, i sound so depressing -- anywaysssssssssssssssssssss LOL nevermind.
I'M OK. :)
to sum it all up: whatever happens, i want to live by faith and not by sight.
(no pun intended haha)
faith = truths
sight = feelings
makes better sense? heheh yes yes :)
kks, that's all for now
-jennt
3 Responses:
:) It was an awesome concert... :) And at some point.. that... dude...(we're clearly not super, crazy fanatic fans... which is good!) said: It's no coincidence that you are here. Maybe you were dragged and maybe you intended to come, but you are here for a reason. I felt that most of the songs were so geared towards my current state. A lot of songs were very comforting... some where uplifting.. encouraging... etc. God places us where we need to be and gives us what we need when we need it. Perhaps Alex "dragged" me there and I "dragged" you guys there... but I think we all felt the personal touch from Him. :) All our thoughts you are having... totally normal... you're not weird. :) I trust He has a plan... we'll see what it is. :)
Thanks for posting, yes it does seem like it's been a while. And I agree with Jackie, you're not weird, it's totally normal. And we'd understand if our worrying about you is also getting you worried too xP
My friend worries about my school. I don't. Isn't that weird?! I'd be hanging out with him and he'd go "DID YOU FINISH READING YET?" I'd say, "Just one more chapter to go" then he'd go, "BACK HOME, LET'S GO READ!" T.T Can't I just finish my ice cream?
It's understandable when other people's worry (especially with SO many sisters) starts to affect you and put pressure on your own worry, especially when your own worrying may seem less than ours. lol
Witty shared on my Facebook this verse: "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." -Galatians 6:2
To know that we have family who is willing to bear each other's burdens without complaint, is SO amazing. We know all things are in His hands, and I guess through this Faith we're allowing our burdens to be dispersed through brothers and sisters and also to the Lord as well.
Also, I shared about this in room D briefly, when I was also in a "concert experience" during TC's worship. I was so into it. My tears fell, everyone's hands went up, we jumped up and down--it was all-out-worship. My heart felt moved, and emotional. But was it filled with the Holy Spirit or moved by the crowd? Couple days after TC ended, my 'regular' feelings returned. I have failed to be spiritually moved. What happened? I guess I'll share about this later.
I hope your feeling remains! We love you! <3
Ooh jennt, I was so touched by your post! Funny thing is, I'm sitting here in a mall's foodcourt using their wi-fi on my blackberry lol and I'm getting all teary eyed.
You're honestly so brave to be battling this by yourself! - WAIT, no.. You're not alone because the Lord is here for you and WE'RE here for you! But nonetheless I will pray really hard for you! May the Lord really be with you each day and may you be able to experience Him in the way that you did during the concert daily!
And no matter what, don't forget that no one has the right to judge you but the Lord.. (I use this truth to comfort myself all the time haha) and like the guy said in the concert, it doesn't matter how we look like, or whatever our past is... We're PERFECT in God's eyes.
Your heart towards Him is so pure, I'm sure that you'll continue to receive infinite blessings from Him! :3
Love you lots~ <3
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